Ask Dr. Dot May 23 2009

Q.

I've been married for 8 years now, and it has been one disappointment
 after another. I truly care about my wife, but I don't know that I really love her
like that anymore, or even if I truly did. She is a very sweet person, and I don't
 want to break her heart, but, I just can't continue to live like this. We have a
7 year old daughter together, who I absolutely adore, and I really think if it
weren't for her I would have ended the relationship years ago. We just don't see
eye to eye on much of anything, and I have such a strong desire to stray, but
I have not, but I think if I don't change something really soon I will. Please don't
 think that I am a typical male pig, because I'm really not. I do however believe
that we only live once and we have to do what makes us happy. Please Help!

Peter Pan

A.

You need to be honest and do what you really want to. Explain to your wife you
want to continue to be friends and a good father, but you need your freedom.
Tell her you can not keep playing house with her if what you really want is to
be single and you prefer to be up front and honest, rather than a sneaky fuck.
You simply have to speak your mind.

Your daughter will not benefit from an unhappy vibe between her parents.

Times have changed.

Parents don’t have to live together to be good
parents. Peace and harmony are the most important factors for the child.
 Avoid telling your wife that you are no longer in love with her. That would be
equivalent to throwing gasoline onto a fire.  Just say you want to live alone and
you long for your space and freedom. Most parents get along much better after such
a situation and become good friends (and strangely enough, lovers again).

 

 


Q.

I was in a relationship with a wonderful guy for 10 months. I lost my virginity to him.
 Then after about 9 months we started fighting really bad about stupid stuff and one of
 us would take off then end up saying sorry. But one day I got tired of it and broke it off.

 Now I regret it because I love him so much, even after a year apart. Tried dating other
 people but it’s not the same. He still gets very jealous when I date others and bothers
 me about what & who I’m doing. We were screwing even after we split but I couldn’t handle
having sex but not being together. I think he still loves me but I’m not sure. We’ve
 talked about dating again but as soon as we argue, he backs off. How do I know if he
 still has feelings for me?

Doormat Dana

A.
You shouldn't have to wonder, it should be obvious.
Don't fall for the popular trap of equating jealousy for love. Just because a partner
is very jealous, does not mean they "love you SO much". Jealousy is more of a
power game than anything else.
If he calls, emails, texts you often and makes a big effort to see you and asks about
when you two can get back together, then he’s the right man, well, maybe not Mr. Right,
 but maybe Mr. Right Now.  If he only wants to get together for sex and you want
 more than a fuck buddy; forget him.
Find out what the route of your petty fights are coming from and try to solve that problem
 before you even think about getting back together.
It could be you just feel comfortable with him rather than true love, because if you two
were meant to be together, it would be easy, not difficult and annoying.

Q.

I'm a man entering into a new relationship and I want it to be successful, what I mean by
that is I don't want to be taken advantage of and used as a punching bag by the woman
 I’m seeing, like I have been in most o f my past relationships, I don't know how it happens,
it starts out as me wanting to be considerate and caring then real quickly it turns into a
 real life version of that old cartoon were the guy always says “yes dear" to every demand
 given to his bigger wife, so I wanted to know from you when does being considerate and
caring cross over into being a wimp?

Whipping Post Pete

A.

This can happen to anyone who is overly kind/generous in the beginning of a relationship.
Yes, it's standard to put our best foot forward to lure that certain someone into bed or
a relationship, but being too agreeable is too much work, misleading and it can turn your
partner into a monster if you treat them too nice (just like spoiling a child/pet).
Don't go to movies you know you will loathe; eat food you really don't like or get pushed
into any social situation that sounds irritating to you ( meeting her family too soon,
vacationing together too soon, double dating or even lending/spending too much money
on her too soon).
This kind of wishy washy behavior is what gives of the "hit me, I'm a punching bag" vibe
right off the bat. You have to show your limits with a smile on your face when you first
start dating someone. Both partners need to discover and respect personal boundaries before
things evolve.
Be aware of her reactions when you pay for dinner or massage her feet. Find out as soon as
possible if this is a grateful woman or a bitchy sponge.
Be yourself no matter what and as soon as your partner crosses a line that you don't like,
speak up, firmly but politely. The majority of women really don’t want a man she can walk
all over. No need to be a raging prick, just confident enough to show her what you like
and dislike. Show her you adore her, but won't crumble without her. If you are too scared
or wimpy to confront a woman to her face about something that is really pissing you off,
write it down and email your point across. Sometimes, the more you give, the more they take,
so, LOVE, but do so cautiously.

Q.

I’m 18 and have been having a fantastic sex life for the past year and a half, I have the
highest sex drive of any woman I know & ridiculously easy orgasms, but for some unknown
reason things are changing. I’m in a stable relationship with great sex. My guy always has
and continues to turn me on and we have lots of foreplay however for the past couple weeks
I haven’t been getting wet; we've been using lube as an easy solution but its not getting
to the route of the problem. I had a check up and I am disease free. Do you know of any
solutions or reasons for the problem? Could it be my BC pill?
Formerly knows as Wet and Wild

A.

The pill pisses on a woman’s sex drive parade.
It coaxes your body into thinking it’s already pregnant due to hormones in it and as we
all know; pregnant women aren’t always in the mood for sex. Dealing with a dry snatch,
feeling clingy and as bloated as a gassy floatation device are all symptoms of being pregnant
and/or on the pill.
Maybe you could look into trying the "ring" which is inserted every month in your love canal.
Then the hormones are only local, not
Through out your whole body. Google “Nuvaring”. It could also be that you and your Freshman pussy
are growing bored with your boyfriend. Most people have a tiny attention span at the age of 18.
Lord knows I do.. Ahem, I mean, did.

Q.

Hi I need your advice as I have a friend who has a girlfriend who disrespects him so much that:
 
1.She shouts at him in front of their friends
2.She snaps at him when she wants something or doesn’t want something
3.She tells him he doesn’t have the nerve to leave her
4.She is moody
5.She never appreciates what he does for her
6.She will never say “I’m sorry”
7.She always picks up fights just to create tension
8.She tells him he is not man enough and swears at him
 
Do you think this relationship can work Dr. please help me to help a friend
Meddling Mike

A.

Your friend is Pussy Whipped.
This will continue until he grows some balls and tells her
that her pussy may be fine, but it's not the only pussy in the
world and they pretty much all feel the same inside. You can’t help someone who
 doesn’t want to be helped. Some people LOVE the “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen”
 treatment. Just like a smoker has to quit on his own in order for it to stick,
your wimpy pal will have to rid the shrew on his own terms; at his own pace.

Q.

I really want to eat my wife's pussy after I cum in it or on it.
Is this strange? I have always liked the taste of my cum and
clean my hand after I jerk off.
Do a lot of men think like me?
Mr. Spunk

 
A.

Confident, sexy men think like you. I find it very hot when a man does that.
If a guy is afraid or grossed out by his own spunk then he shouldn’t
expect his girl to swallow it.

Q.

Can people really change? I recently found out my lover has been lying
to me about all kinds of shit. If you give somebody another chance can they change?
Skeptical Sal

 
A.
A leopard doesn’t change their spots. I think everyone lies a little bit;
 so it depends
on how big and important the lies are. It also depends how deeply you are involved.
 Married? Kids? Does your love outweigh the pesky lies? It really boils down to
the question “how much shit are you willing to put up with to get some love?”.
If you can’t trust someone, you will spend most of your time checking up on them,
which is extremely exhausting and in the end, it may make you feel insecure, crazy
and above all, it’s an insult to one’s intelligence.

Q.

Me and my ex boyfriend started talking again and he tells me he still loves me but
loves his new girlfriend as well what does he really mean?
Sandra Dee

A.
It is of course possible to love two people. You can love many people.
"Love" has many definitions. He LOVES you, I LOVE music, etc.
Actions, not words, will SHOW you how he feels. If he stays with her,
she is more important to him, end of story.

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